A Scooby Doo Movie Night: Zach and Miri
by Gothicthundra
Summary: Mystery Inc. watches Zach and Miri make a porno. Crazy thoughts, shameless chatter, some Dred, and a touch of Shelma. All makes for a good evening. T for sexual refrence.


**NOTICE:: **Since these ones don't take as long and its not even Thanksgiving yet, I'm gonna hold off on the Christmas one for now. I might do a series of one shots involving them watching movies.

**A Scooby Doo Movie Night: Zach and Miri**

Shaggy returned from the video store with Scooby a little after ten in the evening. It was their annual movie night, even if they where miles from home and staying in a small vacation house. He'd decided to get Zach and Miri, he didn't know why, but he'd seen previews... and Kevin Smith made it, so it had to be good.

"What you get?" asked Fred, laying on his bed, flicking the channels, he tossed him the movie, he burst into laughter, "Zach and Miri make a Porno! Oh my god, the girls are going to kill you!"

"Hey, there's romance." laughed Shaggy as the girls came in the small two person bedroom from their own.

"What you get?" asked Velma, picking up the movie.

"Ohm.." Shaggy's face went red, he'd forgot about the girls really.

"Zach and Miri?" asked Daphne, "Ew."

"I wanted to see this actually," said Velma with a laugh, Daphne's eyes went wide.

"Why?"

"It looked funny, okay." Velma's cheeks went pink.

"Ugh, fine. So where are we watching it, because the chairs in the living room are so uncomfortable." said Daphne, flopping at the end of Fred's bed.

"R'in Rhere?" suggested Scooby, happily curling up at the end of Shaggy's bed.

"Why not." said Fred, "We can push the beds together and all just relax."

"I'll get more pillows from our room," said Daphne.

"I'll get the popcorn." said Fred.

"We need more blankets," said Velma with a shiver as cold air came from the broken heating ducts.

"We need something to drink." said Shaggy, as the only one left in the room was Scooby, who pushed the beds together.

A short time later, blankets and pillows littered the beds. A couple large bowls of popcorn sat in the middle. Beverages sat on the side tables of either sides. For added snacks, some M&M's and other assortments where laid out. Scooby had resumed his position at the end of the bed as Fred turned off the lights and Velma hit play. Shaggy laid on his stomach. Velma was leaning on a mass of pillows near the head bored. Daphne was leaning on Fred's shoulder as they lay on the bed. The previews came first as usual, Fred was going to fast forwards, but Shaggy stopped him.

"I like the previews man, like, it makes me think about what I wanna see." said Shaggy as the preview for Kevin Smith: Sold Out came on.

"What's a pussy troll?" asked Daphne, Fred shrugged, Velma laughed along with Shaggy.

"You HAVE to see Clerks II," said Shaggy.

"Oh yeah," snickered Fred, "Don't I own that?"

"Yeah, remember I borrowed it from you," said Velma.

"A year ago," Fred finished.

"It's somewhere at home." said Shaggy, "Cause I like, totally borrowed it from her."

"Shh, its's starting." said Daphne.

"Reah, r'sshh." said Scooby, Shaggy tossed popcorn at him, which he ate.

"You see, that is exactly why we lock our bathroom doors," said Daphne, with a chuckle.

"But it still seems to happen once in a while," said Shaggy.

"Then turn the lock," said Velma, nudging him with her foot.

"I forget," laughed Shaggy.

"Reah, right." said Scooby, "Rou rust ront rare."

"That too." said Shaggy, as they focused on the movie again.

"Why would you put that in your pants?" asked Velma, eyes wide.

"Hey, when its cold, its twice as cold down there," said Fred, "Right Shag?"

"Yeah, like its really sensitive." said Shaggy.

"Please stop talking about your guys' crotch problems." said Daphne.

"We listen to your girls crotch problems once a month." said Fred.

"Like yeah, and who has to go buy them?" asked Shaggy, turning to look at them.

"OH CRAP!" said Fred, wincing.

"That like totally sucks." said Shaggy, both he and Scoob winced.

"Serves him right for putting it there," chuckled Daphne, "I want to go shopping?"

"I wan't a muffin, man." said Shaggy as it cut to the coffee shop.

"I love black friday at the mall!" said Daphne happily.

"We know... we've been there. Remember that year you broke that girls arm?" asked Fred.

"I had that sweater first." said Daphne defensively.

"Are we going to our ten year reunion by the way?" asked Velma.

"Like when is it?" asked Shaggy.

"Three years from now," laughed Daphne.

"Why not, we're successfull, wealthy.... let's go to Hawaii instead." said Fred, with a laugh.

"Let's go for ten minutes, act like idiots and book it." said Fred.

"Reah... rey?" Scooby was watching the movie.

"What kind of underwear is that?" asked Fred, with a laugh.

"Every girl has those." said Daphne, smacking him.

"I don't," said Velma, Shaggy, Fred, Daphne, and Scooby all looked at her, "What... I don't."

"What do you have?" asked Shaggy, raising an eyebrow.

"Bikini briefs." said Velma, taking a handful of popcorn.

"..... what... kind?" asked Shaggy, Fred through a pillow at him.

"Focus on the movie?"

"Eww, gross!" said Daphne with a laugh.

"Yet, another reason to lock the door." said Velma, with a chuckle.

"If she had, like she would've had to like totally get out of the shower. Unlock the door, climb back in, and than like totally call for help." said Shaggy.

"Good reasoning." said Velma.

"Thank you," Shaggy sat up and leaned back against the pillow laden head board.

"Do we have any stuck up people hosting our reunion?" asked Daphne.

"Hey, that chicks Kevin Smith wife." said Shaggy, "She played in Clerks II."

"Okay, you know way too much..." Daphne was cut off.

"He lives in Jersey. And most of his films are shot like, in Jersey and..." Shaggy was hit with a pillow, by Velma sitting next to him, Scooby laughed.

"I would never be that desperate.." said Daphne, watching the screen.

"Apart from out right telling that guy she wants to sleep with him... nevermind, she did it." said Velma, with an eye roll.

"That's a total turn off," said Shaggy.

"To eaches own," responded Fred.

"Oh my gosh, gay porn." snickered Daphne, her and Velma burst into fits.

"Flashback to Hish School, guys?" asked Velma, nudging Shaggy and Fred.

"You tricked us into kissing, you manipulative banshees." chuckled Fred.

"Way to play a dirty rigged game," Shaggy threw a pillow at them.

"I still have that picture..." whispered Daphne to Velma.

"I heard that!" said Fred, "Shag, we're raiding their rooms tonight."

"Its not here." said Velma with a chuckle.

"Oh whoa... what a major burn. To find out the guy you liked was gay, yikes...." Daphne was cut off.

"Daphne, I'm gay," said Fred, dripping with sarcasim, "Shaggy and I are an item."

"Fred, we made a deal not to tell her like this," said Shaggy, with an equal amount of sarcasim, before bursting into laughter.

"Shaggy, I thought we agreed.." laughed Fred, taking Shaggy's hands in his, "That you need to step out of the closet of denial, an walk into the light of trueness."

"Do I need to get a hose?" asked Velma, as Daphne fell off the bed laughing.

"Step up to the mountain of gayness, Shaggy," said Fred, Shaggy lost his cool and burst into tears of laughter, followed shortly by Fred.

"What happened?" asked Velma, looking at the television.

"Their powers off," said Fred, wiping tears from his eyes as he pulled up Daphne.

"Would anyone here make a porno if that happened?" asked Fred, "I wouldn't."

"No way," said Daphne.

"No way," said Velma.

"I plead the fifth," said Shaggy, taking a drink of water.

"Really?" asked all of them.

"It all depends." shrugged Shaggy, "Like the situation, person..."

"Your living on the street and with Sadie May?" asked Fred.

"I'd commit suicide." said Shaggy, with a shutter, as the others laughed.

"Did she just say and American Werewolf in Brenda?" asked Daphne.

"That's so wrong... any comment from our resident former werewolf?" asked Velma.

"I'd watch it..." laughed Shaggy.

"I'd have nightmares," said Fred.

"I'd give it a shot," said Velma, Daphne nodded, Fred recoiled.

"You guys are just wrong." said Fred, "Go make one, Shag's got fifteen minutes.." Pillows where thrown at him from all sides.

"Star Whores?!" Shaggy burst out laughing.

"Are those...?! They are, ew!" said Velma.

"Fred, let's go raid a sex shop and have a star wars battle." said Shaggy.

"Now I wan't too..." said Fred, with a snicker.

"You guys would get the ones that would avoid hitting at all costs." said Velma with a snicker.

"The randomness! At first I thought they where going to shoot a F-R-I-E-N-D-S spoof!" said Daphne.

"Like, me too." said Shaggy.

"I really think they already have one," said Velma.

"Your kidding, right?" asked Fred.

"No." said Velma.

"Thats... thats... so... can we get it online?" asked Shaggy.

"I wan't to see some of these spoofs." said Daphne, "Fred, pause the movie."

"Okay, but the minute someone sees someone feels grossed out, we turn it off." said Fred, as Velma opened her laptop.

Ten minutes later and the laptop was closed, they had resumed the movie. Velma let out a shutter, no one wanted to see that. Daphne was still between which she found more disturbing, The Partridge Family... or the Cosby Show. Shaggy moved his feet from under Scooby's head and stopped moving. Velma had leaned back against his chest, he stared at her for a few minutes. She was still watching the television, perhaps she'd just not noticed.

"Falling in love during a porn... that's so wrong." said Fred.

"Oh, Velma, we have to watch sleeping with the enemy...." Daphne trailed off, as Shaggy's arm wrapped around Velma's shoulder casually.

"Guys... do you think we could make a porn?" asked Fred, tilting his head, "I mean, if we really needed too?"

"We would never need to Fred," sighed Velma.

"I'm just saying..." said Fred.

"What would be your porn name?" asked Shaggy.

"Your prostitute name is supposed to be your first pets name and the street you where raised on," said Daphne.

"I never had any pets," said Fred, "Apart from Scooby, whom I consider my dog too."

"You'd be Scooby Wilkens.... awkward." said Shaggy, "Wait.. so would I."

"I would be Fiffy Blake." said Daphne.

"Hermi Shelton," said Velma, "I had a rat."

"Oh my gosh! EW! EW!" said Daphne pointing at the screen.

"Like, man! I would never be able to recover from that." said Shaggy, cringing.

"I don't want this candy bar anymore." said Fred putting it in the trash.

"Scooby, that's not funny." said Velma, as Scooby laughed.

"Reah rit ris." said Scooby.

"Sorry for the late response Daph, but I don't really wan't to see sleeping with the enemy." said Velma.

"I wan't to see Orphan." said Shaggy.

"Zombieland." said Fred.

"I hate zombies," said Velma and Daphne together.

"It's supposed to be a comedy.... is he seriously telling her how he feels while she's going to the bathroom?" asked Fred.

"Yup... oh I did not need to see that!" said Daphne shaking her head and closing her eyes.

"That was so wrong." said Shaggy.

"I'm glad I missed it." said Fred, picking up some garbage on the floor.

"That's it.... we should have watched Knocked Up." said Velma, as they all got up during the credits.

"Bloopers?" suggested Shaggy.

"Yeah," they all resumed their previous positions.

**THE END**

Personal note... I love Kevin Smith! He's amazing. I swear I would be an extra in his movies for free, heck I'd just wanna be in his movies period. Even if I'm just the umbrella fixer or something. Zombieland or Orphan, which should I do next?


End file.
